Malfoy Malfunction
by clndstne
Summary: Hermione has been ruined for all other guys when Draco left her the night before their wedding. What happens when they bump into each other at the most inconvenient times?  post war, AU


_I- I can't do this. I can't do us. I can't marry you. Tomorrow's over, it can't and won't happen. I'm sorry. I love you, but I just can't._

Why did I keep this letter? I should have burned it three years ago. As soon as I got it I knew I should have disposed of it, along with everything that I could possibly associate to that jerk. Why didn't I do it? Because if I had done that I would put an end to the world because _everything_ reminds me of him, what we had, and what we could have had.

We could have gotten married.  
We could have had a family.  
We could have been together now, happy.

And yet I had none of that. I'm alone, unhappy, and ruined for all other men.

_I'm getting married tomorrow! I'm so excited. I hope nothing goes wrong, after a year of planning. I want everything to go just right. But it doesn't matter, I just can't wait to finally become Mrs. Hermione __Malfoy__. "It's got a ring to it, __Malfoy__." he said. Ever since he proposed he stopped calling me Granger, or Hermione. Most of the time he'd just call me __Malfoy__. It always made me smile, knowing that I would become the future Lady __Malfoy__. But the title doesn't even matter, all I want is to be with him._

_I was drifting off to sleep when I heard something tapping against my window. It was an owl. It was his owl._

I don't think I could ever understand how it happened, or why it did. All I knew is that after being together for years since seventh year at Hogwarts, he was still not ready. I thought he was, when he first confessed his love for me in our common room. See, he was Head Boy, and I, Head Girl. Who knew that a year together, most that time trying our best to be the least bit civil with each other would result to us getting engaged. _And never getting married._

He owled me the letter the night before our wedding. Do you understand? He _owled_ me on the night _before our wedding._ I can never wrap my thoughts around it enough for it to makes sense. It just doesn't.

**oOo**

I don't know why I did it.  
Who am I kidding? I knew perfectly well. The night before we were to be wed, I had sent her an owl telling her that the wedding cannot happen, and it will not happen.

I told her I loved her, but not enough to go through with the wedding. That was a lie. I wanted nothing more than to get married to her, and officially make her a _Malfoy__._ I had been calling her that since the night I proposed and loved it ever since. Despite this, I cancelled the wedding.

How could I have been so stupid? I had never discussed my fears about it with her, I have not spoken to her since. I wanted her to know I was afraid. Afraid that once I give her my heart completely, she would hurt me. Hurt me bad. She was the only person capable of doing this, she was the only one I had ever allowed to get into me. She knew me, knew everything about me, loved everything about me despite my failures. And yet I was stupid and blind enough to thinking that she would hurt me. I was afraid of losing her. My stupid fear had caused everything to go wrong. My fear had caused me to make my fear into reality.

"Idiot." I hissed under my breath, wanting to punish myself for getting me into this hole of misery. I could be happy with her now. And she wouldn't be half as miserable with me had I not left her. I kicked the bed and something fell. It was her jacket. I picked it up and smelled it. After three years it still smelled like her. Or, did I only perceive this knowing her scent so well?

**oOo**

He was an idiot. He is an idiot. As soon as I got the letter I apparated to the Malfoy Manor. He was there. Of course. I looked for him in all the libraries I know there is, thinking that he might be there. I went to the nearby bars we used to go to at times, not there either. I went to Hogsmeade, maybe he was drowning in Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans he always loved. Apparently he loved them more than he did me.

I never found him. I never talked to him since. The only way I knew he was still alive three years after that is through the tabloids that to this day, followed me, and him around.  
_  
How does Friday sound? I'll pick you up at 8. I can't wait!_

_Oliver_

I sighed as I read his owl. I wonder how this date were turn out. And I can almost imagine what things Rita Skeeter would say about it. The Malfoy Malfunction, was what she called it.  
See, Draco had been engaged three times. And got married zero times. It was, what had publicised as the Malfoy Malfunction. Skeeter says he'll get married each time he gets engaged, but it never happened. He always seemed to have a revelation of his true feelings for the woman (that was once me) the night before their marriage. Some say it's getting kinda old. Everyone thought I would put an end to this curse or so have many called it; I did too, but apparently that wasn't the case.

_8 sounds fine._

I had sent Oliver the owl and turned on the telly. Of course, as if fate was mocking me, the lady was talking about Draco and his date just exiting a nearby restaurant.

_Could she fix the _Malfoy Malfunction?_ We'll just have to wait and see!_

That was some bull, they're turning our lives into some reality show. I don't remember anything much after that, I drifted off to sleep not wanting to hear any more.

**oOo**

We stepped out of the Italian restaurant only to be mauled by photographers. Why must they always do this? It's like I'm the only one that dates in all of the wizarding world. Damn, I knew we should have just apparated back to her flat. No, scratch that. I knew I should never have asked her to dinner. I never wanted to. All these dates I've gone on the past three years meant nothing to me. The longest I've probably ever dated one girls since.. _since it happened_ was a couple of months. And that only happened once.

There's only one person I want to go out with, one person I feel for. And I blew my chances with her. I was that big an idiot.

"Draco, let's go. I'm getting dizzy." my date said. See! I don't even think I remember her name! We apparated back to her flat.  
"Well, I had a good time. Thank you for accepting my invitation." I said, avoiding her eyes. As I turned to leave, she held my arm.  
"Draco." she said. I was puzzled, I knew these girls knew how I worked, it was a date and only that.  
"You still love her. And I know she does you. Stop wasting your time! I thought you couldn't make any more choices as idiotic as leaving her the night before your wedding, but I guess not. You keep making stupid choices, Draco. Going out on dates with other girls, wasting your time. You've already let 3 years past and I know a man has never been as miserable as you. Apologise. If she still loves you, and I know she does, she'll forgive you. Not in an instant, I'm not saying that. But she will eventually." she finished, let go of my arm and stared at me. I need not listen to what she had just said, I knew all these tings for a fact. But again only one thing was hindering me from doing it, fear. Fear of rejection, just as I rejected her. Fear of being hurt, just as I hurt her. And yet, this woman in front of me, whom I had just gone on a date with was telling me to go after some other girl. She had told me something that no one else had tried to tell me, not even my best mates.  
"Thank you.." stopping, realising I did not even know her name.  
"Kathy. My name's Kathy." I was looking for a hint of bitterness, hurt, anger. But there was none. She smiled at me, a nice, genuine smile, and turned the door knob. It was my turn to hold her arm, leaned in and kissed her cheek. I was thankful for her, she told me what I really needed to hear.  
"Thank you Kathy, thank you." I smiled, and left. I Disapparated and plopped down on my bed, thinking.

I love her. I still do. And she loves me. If she doesn't, she would have married someone else. I mean, it has been long since I left her. She loves me. She will forgive me, eventually. But I have to apologise. I have to tell her I'm sorry and that I've been a jerk. And most importantly, tell her that I still love her, that I never stopped loving her.

**oOo**

It was a Friday night when I was having dinner with Blaise Zabini, a good friend of mine. I had been telling him of my plans, about confronting Hermione. He was supportive, and offered some ideas.

"Buy her some flowers." he said.  
"That's overrated." I answered back.  
"But girls love them."  
"Not Hermione."  
"Then what _does _she like?" he then asked. Just then, I heard that familiar giggle. The same one that used to give me butterflies, hell it still bloody did. I turned my head and by the entrance of the restaurant, Hermione was there. Of course she wasn't there alone, although I had wished she was. She was with  
"That bloody old git." Blaise said, standing up.  
"Oliver Wood." I sighed. Maybe she didn't love me anymore. I looked at Blaise and gave him a warning look. He sat down and picked at his food. I did the same. I guess it wasn't my day, seeing as how the hostess had asked them to sit at the table nearest our right.

**oOo**

I was laughing at something Oliver had said, though I never paid much attention to it. I usually did that while he talked, gave polite nods and smiles. Could he sense that I really didn't want to be on a date _with him? _Perhaps, but he showed no sign of this. The hostess showed us to our table and asked us for our drinks. I wanted water, not really in the mood for anything else.

"Blaise, we better leave." I heard a familiar voice say. Bloody hell I know that voice so well like the back of my hand. I snapped my head to the left so fast it made me kind of dizzy.  
"Malfoy." I breathed. How lucky was I, to be on a date with someone I didn't want to be with, sitting metres away from my ex-fiance.  
"Blaise." he muttered under his breath, slowly facing my.  
"Why, fancy meeting you here, Granger." he said.  
"Likewise." I said, with as much venom in my voice as possible. Suddenly, I felt my face getting hot, my ears probably turning red. I was furious. I had not seen him since he ran out on me like that, and seeing him makes me want to scream his head off. However, I was not one to show my feelings out in public like this. I was the one to cry, alone in my room for hours. Days. Weeks. Years. 3 years.  
"Blaise let's go, I don't want to make my situation with Ms. Granger here any worse." he said.  
"Oliver, I think we'd better leave. Besides, Malfoy and Zabini were here first, weren't they." I hissed under my breath. The truth was I just wanted to go home and cry. I stood up, grabbed my purse and stormed out. As I turned back to call for Oliver, I was met with silvery gray eyes. The same magnificent eyes I so lovingly adored for five years. I was almost in tears from anger and pain, so Disapparated. I would perhaps owl Oliver and tell him I really did not want to go out with him, _or anyone_ at the moment. Unless he were Malfoy. Ugh, stop it Hermione! He stood you up. Before your wedding!

I finally broke down on the couch and was almost hyperventilating. I took deep breaths to calm myself, but found it of no use. Just then, I heard a distant _pop_. I look around, suddenly bringing out my wand and looked up.  
"Who's there?" I asked. Nothing, no one answered. But I heard footsteps. I realised I hadn't even turned the lights on, until they were switched on by no other than  
"Malfoy." I said for the second time this night.  
"What do you want?"  
"You." he answered flatly. I rolled my eyes at him.  
"You can lower your wand now, I'm not going to kill you." he said, eyeing me.  
"I'd actually like that. So I wouldn't have to live in this hell hole I dug three years ago." I hissed back.  
"Look, I'm sorry, okay. I really am. I left you. I never gave you an explanation. I never tried to contact you since in the past years. I have so many things to be sorry for, I don't know which is worse than the other. I'm sorry." he said. I just stared at him.  
"You want to know why I left you? Why I called off the wedding? Why I refused to speak with you, why I hid? One thing. Fear. I was afraid that if I let you in completely, I would get hurt in the end. That if something happened to you, I would die inside. That if you left me, my life would be worthless. I thought that if I called off the wedding, I'd still have part of myself, part of my heart that would help me get over you, and claim back the rest of my heart from you. I was wrong, it made everything worse. It caused all my fears to come true. The night I before our weddi-" I cut him off.  
"There never was a wedding." I said, not looking at him, that feeling of anger subsided and now there was just pain.  
"Yes, the night before our cancelled wedding, when I owled you, I was hiding. Hiding in the library."  
"I searched every library within the area, Draco. Don't lie to me." I said, realising that I had just said his name, his first name.  
"I was in the library, the one I had purchased just as a gift for you. I was thinking about what decision I had just made, trying to convince myself that it was better for me that way. I was selfish, I had not thought about you being hurt as bad as you are now. I was a selfish.." I cut him off once again.  
"Selfish jerkface bastard who knew nothing more than to please himself and loved to hurt those who love him." I continued for him. He sighed deeply.

**oOo**

What she said was true. I was a selfish jerk. A selfish bastard who did nothing but hurt others.  
"That's not entirely true. I never wanted to hurt you. I.. I don't even know how to explain it..." I mumbled.  
"I'm sorry. I know what I did is unforgivable, and you may never want to see me again, hear of me, be reminded of me ever. But I just thought, that you had every right to know. I never did give you that right of yours. After gazing into your eyes earlier this evening, I knew that even if you never forgive me.." I sighed, she was crying now.  
"At least I got the chance to look into your most beautiful eyes for the last time. And maybe I was delusional, but I know that deep inside, you still love me. Even in the slightest bit. It's enough to make me happy. At least I won't have to die as miserable as I was." I finished.  
"I love you. I still do. I never stopped loving you. I don't ever want to stop loving you, and I can't see myself stop loving you, even if you don't feel the same way." I said, closing my eyes.  
After agonizing minutes, which felt like multiple lifetimes, she mumbled something.

**oOo**

I was crying helplessly, finding my way back to the couch. Despite of what he did, I still loved him. I knew I did. No matter how many times I tell myself I don't, I did. I loved him. I love him. I was still hurting, though I have forgiven him.  
"I.. I guess I better go." he finally said.  
"Don't." I managed to say, rather, croaked. I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand, and though vision still blurry, I gazed into his eyes.  
"Wh-what?" he choked, eyes full of hope and love.  
"Don't go." I said again.  
"But, you hate me, I hurt you. Bad." he said. I gave a sarcastic laugh.  
"You come here, ask for my forgiveness, and when I give it to you, you tell me otherwise?" I said.  
"No, no that's not what I mean! It's just that.." he trailed off, not knowing what to say.  
"I could never hate you. I've never hated you. I love you, Draco. You did hurt me, really bad. But when I hear an apology, I know when it's sincere. I know you meant what you said, and hell, your excuse was bloody ridiculous, but I forgive you." I said, smiling rather faintly. He smiled, grinned was more like it.  
"I'm staying, then?" he asked.

**oOo**

"I'm staying, then?" I asked. I was hopeful, thankful for her great heart. She did not even think about it, she had forgiven me right away. Maybe she had forgiven me a long time ago, only denying herself each time she thought about it.  
"Yes." she said, trying to hold back her tears. She failed. She was crying hard again.  
"Shhh, don't cry. I'm sorry. I love you. I'm never going to leave you again. I love you, Hermione." I said, going to her as quickly as possible and holding her in my arms.  
"Don't ever do that to me again, Draco. Don't you ever leave me, you bloody git." she said, slapping my chest, she chuckled and choked back tears.  
"I love you, Hermione." I said, leaning in to kiss her. It was the most innocent kiss I have ever had in my life. Innocent yet electrifying, sending currents through my body. I pulled away and gazed into her eyes once again.  
"And I love you, Draco." she mumbled against my lips.


End file.
